Trade Offs

When Rick and I decided to leave San Diego, I knew there were going to be times I'd regret the decision, especially since we'd be leaving not only Mom and Dad, but two of our three daughters and their families as well. What really amazes me as I look back on it, was how quickly we made the decision. In retrospect, I think it was probably for the best that we only had a twenty-four hour window in which to decide. If I'd been given more time, I probably wouldn't have gone through with it.

I've always been very close to my girls. I was after all, a stay-at-home Mom for twenty-five years. I changed diapers, bandaged wounds, wiped tears, scolded, cheered, refereed, chauffeured, packed for, cooked for, baked for, cleaned for and worried over my three little chickadees. I'd supported them through three weddings and two divorces and celebrated the birth of two grandsons. To sum it up, I knew how to nurture and I was good at it.

The part of being a Mom that gave me the most trouble, was letting go. Now, I know I'm not the only woman to find this aspect of mothering troublesome. Sadly, babies don't come with 'mommy manuals' that tell you when its time to weigh-in or butt-out. Instead, we're supposed to reach into our little bag of mommy tricks and pull out our good judgement wands, wave them over our heads and immediately know how to respond, or not, when we see our adult children headed for certain catastrophe.

Mistakes? I've made a few (sounds like a line from an old song). The obvious remedy would be to say nothing and let the chips fall where they may. What an idea! Unfortunately, not so easy, especially when one has the opportunity to interact with ones adult children every day.

So, when contemplating the move back east, I took into account the fact that I would no longer be present to weigh-in on every little aspect of my daughters lives. My physical absence would empower them to make and then feel good about their own decisions. How unselfish!

Besides, I can still be phoned, tweeted, texted or emailed, morning, noon or night if needed.